There is nothing like the return of spring to remind us of our connections to nature, and savvy marketers don’t miss a beat when connecting with your cash. There was a time not too long ago, when homes had backyards, patios and decks to incorporate the essence of outdoor living. But what can you sell to someone who has already remodelled the kitchen, bath, basements and garage? What if every room – including the one called laundry – has been decorated down to the smallest detail? There is only one more frontier ready for plunder – outside.
Why not build an outdoor living room? Look in the papers; they are all the rage. The complete outdoor room includes dining and living room furniture like sectionals for 16. Add a water feature, lounger, fire pit, gas heater, BBQ, gazebo and a bug zapper and you are transported to a luxurious retreat. That resin wicker set looks better than your old couch inside. Anyway, it is only money.
Anxious to get on with the spending, you enter the gloomy confines of your garage only to discover a large tower-like construction shrouded in filthy plastic sheeting held together by a piece of yellow plastic rope. That’s when you remember you have some patio furniture remnants to attend to. You reluctantly release the structure from its translucent prison and inspect the stack. They will be one of two colours: white or green.
Think back to the time and reason the old plastic patio chairs were acquired. They were probably purchased when you were having a big gathering at your place, like someone’s graduation, and you were afraid your current garden furniture and folding chairs would prove inadequate for the size of the crowd. You picked them up for under $10 a pop. The best part was they were stackable. You could even leave them out in bad weather.
After a couple of seasons the chairs no longer looks so good. Dirt is simply baked onto the surface and refuses to respond to normal household cleaning agents. Pits and dings started to appear. And, come to think of it, plastic lawn chairs were not very comfortable either. Those lightweight chairs were none to stable either. In conjunction with the use of alcohol, guests had taken nasty spills getting in or out of them. All in all, their appeal waned.
Like others of their brethren, the forgotten outcasts of fickle nature of garden fashion, the chairs were posted to the inner recesses of the garage; rubbing elbows with the likes of expired bags of turf builder and composter left over from the organic gardening days.
You can try bleaching them if you think they are worth the time and effort. In our view, these chairs fit the definition of C.R.U.D., for all of the reasons mentioned above. Most importantly, you are not using them, you likely got your money’s worth out of them within two hours and you have plenty of uses for the space in the garage they now occupy (like a place for the boxes the new patio furniture comes in.) Try donating your plastic chairs to an organization or school that may have a need for extra seating from time to time. You will have to subject them to a power washer first. PVC is recyclable, although not often collected.