Athletes’ Loot

Doing regular exercise is commendable to maintain weight, flexibility, strength and mobility throughout your life. Fitness fads come in waves.  The 80s made aerobics a household word. The subsequent decades ushered in more fitness trends like Step aerobics, Pilates, hot and cold yoga, kick-boxing, spinning, weight training and Zumba. As our bodies age, we need to adapt our workout routines.  The high impact activities of our twenties inevitably give way to gentler hatha yoga or water aerobics, unless we want to expose ourselves to knee replacements in our sixties.

For those of you who are fitness enthusiasts, it should come as no surprise that every activity requires gear of some sort or another.  Compared to a decent set of gold clubs or high performance skis, these indoor sports represent a modest equipment investment and a low barre to entry (no pun intended). Even if the dollar value in attire and equipment is not significant, the volume can strain your storage capacity. As people who spend far too much time plumbing the depths of storage lockers, we can attest to the glut of underused gym related paraphernalia. If you are not inclined to part with the ritual objects associated with your past, timeworn exercise gear could be yet another category worthy of expunging.

CRUD Challenge

Note to self: stop channeling Jane Fonda.This is our hit list for the most unflattering gym fashions that need to go. Unless leg warmers are going to have a second coming that we don’t know about, we suggest that you begin there. Neon colored tights, head bands and multi-colored nylon track suits may require special handling. They need to be removed before your fashionista millennial children discover them. You won’t be able to handle the shaming.   Here is another. Leotards! Lest you plan on resuming your pre-pubescent career as an Olympic gymnastics hopeful, send them packing.

Now what about the equipment itself? Do you still have the ankle weights that leak sand or flop around on your legs every time you lift? Speaking of weights, those dumbbells responsible for your repetitive stress injuries should be shipped COD to your chiropractors and massage therapists. Do we need to remind you to give away the ab-cruncher purchased from a home shopping channel in a moment of desperation? Is yoga no longer a feature of your routine?  Say Namaste to the foam blocks, straps and the sticky mats you carted back and forth to the studio religiously a couple of decades ago. Do not overlook your idle collection of resistance bands, stability balls, pool noodles for aqua fit or the thigh master.

Don’t bemoan the disappearance of these relics from your closets. All of these items are available for use at the health club or community center.  Otherwise, if you suddenly get the urge to exercise, simply lie down until the feeling passes.

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Posted in C.R.U.D.

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